SOLACE FOR CONFUSION
Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. He
thinks himself lost to the comfort of any conviction at all. He cannot attain in even a small
degree the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the bewildered
one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28
The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The
images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection and
condemnation. Then I heard my friend Ed’s image of a Higher Power: As a boy he had
been allowed a litter of puppies, provided that he assume responsibility for their care.
Each morning he would find the unavoidable “byproducts” of the puppies on the kitchen
floor. Despite frustration, Ed said he couldn’t get angry because “that’s the nature of
puppies.” Ed felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings with a similar
understanding and warmth. I’ve often found solace from my personal confusion in Ed’s
calming concept of God.