She had trouble defining herself independently of her husband, tried to talk to him about it, but he said nonsense, he had no trouble defining her at all. —Cynthia Propper Seton— To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out. Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage–both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence. Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities.
Our Folded Hands
Women helping Women. Reaching out to the Sister who still suffers. Helping each other through the Good times and the Difficult times. To get to the SOBER way of life, One Day at a Time.
Daily Readings And Meditations
New Beginnings
Reflections
HAVING FUN YET? . . . we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 132 When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that clocked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I’m taking myself too seriously – and finding it difficult to admit that I’ve strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order. I think the pain I experience is one way my Higher Power has to get my attention, coaxing me to take stock of my performance. The slight time and effort it takes to work the program – a spot-check inventory, for example, or the making of amends, whatever is appropriate – are well worth the effort.
Promise
No person could save another. —Joyce Carol Oates— We encounter the experiences we need in our lives. It’s sometimes hard to believe that when we’re grappling with disappointment, anger, or loss. Yet everything that comes our way is material for our growth. Many of us entertain a fantasy that some person can complete us. We don’t believe that we’re complete in ourselves. Only when we do will we become able to share in a life-enhancing partnership with another person. Only when we love ourselves can we love others realistically, instead of seeing them as fantasy figures, projections of our own desire. No one can hurt us emotionally unless we allow the hurt. We’re full partners in everything that we do, and taking responsibility for our actions and our desires is our first step toward being fully lovable. The only one who can save me is me.
Keep It Simple
Sex, like all else between human beings, is never prefect. —Theodore Isaac Rubin— Addiction made our sex lives a mess. Maybe we wanted prefect sex or we wanted no sex. We were afraid. Maybe we wanted a high from sex we just couldn’t seem to get it. Some of us had lots of sex partners; some of us had none. What now? We’re doing what we need to do by being in recovery. We’re getting to know ourselves. We’re living by our real values. We’re being honest with ourselves and others. We’re learning to love and care about others. It’s open, honest caring we express with our bodies. Thus, sex can be trusting and safe. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I turn over my sex life and my will to You—Just for today. I know You want me to be happy. Action for the Day: What do I believe about sex? How does it match with what’s said in the third paragraph above?
Thought For The Day
Alcoholics are people whose drinking got them into a “blind alley.” They haven’t been able to learn anything from their drinking experiences. They are always making the same mistakes and suffering the same consequences over and over again. They refuse to admit they’re alcoholic. They still think they can handle the stuff. They won’t swallow their pride and admit that they’re different from ordinary drinkers. They won’t face the fact that they must spend the rest of their lives without liquor. They can’t visualize life without ever taking a drink. Am I out of this blind alley?Meditation For The DayI believe that God has all power. It is His to give and His to withhold. But He will not withhold it from the person who dwells near Him, because then it passes insensibly from God to that person. It is breathed in by the person who lives in God’s presence. I will learn to live in God’s presence and then I will have those things which I desire of Him: strength, power, and joy. God’s power is available to all who need it and are willing to accept it.Prayer For The DayI pray that I may get myself out of the way, so that God’s power may flow in. I pray that I may surrender myself to that power.
My Thoughts For The Day
🌺 Good morning Courageously Strong Lovely Lady ❗ Welcome to Our morning… 💪🤗…Many of us go through years of trying to get what we have not got, and once we acquire it…😀🤩…It turns to rubbish in our hands…😯😱🤨🗑…Did nature really make us like this, or to feel like we despise those who love us❓…💘🤨🧐…Are We over dramatizing and self-analyzing people, places, things, and situations way to much❓…😜🤷🐷…Which brings me back to, am I thinking way to Hard and not enjoying my every moment❓…🤯😥…I Should Probably be turning my thoughts over to my HIGHER POWER, and Really starting to value my relationships more…💪👩❤️ 👨👩…First, Am I Being honest with myself and my HIGHER POWER and with those around me❔…👩❤️👩👩👩👦👦…If I can get into ACCEPTANCE with living Life on Life’s terms, then I can participate FULLY in my RECOVERY❕…🤼🏃♀️👩💻🛒📘… Instead of second guessing myself, everyone, and everything…🤔😳… and just maybe my day will go a little better❗…😀👼. I love you and have a Fantastic Day my GREAT FRIEND for YOU are so LOVED❗ ❗…👍👌💐🦋🦉🌈🦄🤸🏆💐🌾😘😘😘