Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising
out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one’s old
life as a condition for finding a new one.
A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46
A thousand beatings by Barleycorn did not encourage me to
admit defeat. I believed it was my moral obligation to
conquer my “enemy-friend.” At my first A.A. meeting I
was blessed with a feeling that it was all right to admit
defeat to a disease which had nothing to do with my
“moral fiber.” I knew instinctively that I was in the
presence of a great love when I entered the doors of A.A.
With no effort on my part, I became aware that to love
myself was good and right, as God had intended. My feeling
set me free, where my thoughts had held me in bondage. I