What most of us want is to be heard, to communicate. —Dory Previn—
Our personhood is denied; the self we are presenting to the word is negated each time we speak, yet go unheard. “The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention.” If we want attention, we must also give it. That means letting go of all extraneous thoughts when we’re in conversation with someone. We cannot expect to get from others what we are unable or unwilling to give. Being heard and hearing another person is more than just listening. It’s letting ourselves be touched, in an intimate way, by the other’s words. We don’t want judgment, or shame, or to be discounted when we share who we are with another. We want to know that we have been intimately heard.
And when we have a chance to hear another, we listen intently for the words meant for us, words that will stretch our womanhood and bring us closer to our inner selves as well.The beauty of hearing each other is that it helps us to hear ourselves. We know better who we are when we listen to one another. Every conversation offers us a chance to be real, to help another person be real. Rapt attention is my greatest gift. If I want to receive it, I must give it.