…[To] take something from yourself, to give to another, that is humane and gentle and never takes away as much comfort as it brings again.
—Thomas More…
We take different kinds of pleasure in giving. perhaps the purest is the gift to a child so young it doesn’t really know who the gift came from; the pure joy that the teddy bear or pull-toy produces is our reward, unmixed by any expectation of return. When children get older, we want something back from them: gratitude, respect. The gift is less pure. When lovers exchange gifts, their pleasure is often tinged with anxiety:
Did I give more than I got? Did I get more than I gave? Or with power: He’ll always remember where he got that shirt; she owes me something for the fur jacket. To friends and relations our gifts reflect many things: our appreciation of their lives,our shared memories, our prosperity. We tend to give in a spirit of self-expression. Perhaps the closest we can come to a pure gift is an anonymous one: a gift of volunteer work, of blood, or a contribution to a charity. Such a gift, which can never be acknowledged or returned by those it comforts, can heal our spirits when they are wearied by too much ego.The gift of myself can be a gift to myself.