For have you not perceived that imitations, whether of bodily gestures, tones of voice, or modes of thought, if they be persevered in from an early age, are apt to grow into habits and a second nature? —Plato—
What does it mean to act “as if?” When we feel angry and unforgiving, it means we act as if we forgave someone who stepped on our toes, or took our parking place, or ruined our paintbrush; when we feel cold and self-pitying, it means to act as if we were warmly interested in the child or friend or spouse who has something to tell us. It can be a wonderful exercise. If we really give ourselves to the performance, we can act as if, and the mood we imitate becomes real. Oscars will never be given for acting as if, but the rewards are far more useful. Acting as if can salvage a bad day; it can repair or prevent a quarrel.
Act as if we didn’t have a headache, and often the headache disappears. Act as if we weren’t in a hurry and often we will have time for everything when we were small, adults said to us, “Don’t make a face or you’ll freeze that way.” Now that we’re grown, we can learn how to imitate, flexibly, what we want. Instead of freezing into negative postures, we reach for agreeable ones and so often “as if becomes “as is.” Today I shall practice acting as if I were serene; perhaps it will grow into a habit.