A liar leads an existence of unutterable loneliness. —Adrienne Rich—
All human interactions are built on agreement. Language itself depends on agreement: we agree, broadly, on the meaning of friend, blue, danger, cold. We agree on times of meeting, rules of procedure, and appropriate behaviors for many situations. To lie is to break some of those agreements. “I returned your call” is a harmless lie, we might think, but if we didn’t return the call, then we’re lying about our intentions and our intentions and our actions. It would be so much simpler for us to say, “I meant to return your call.” So why don’t we? One important motive for telling such lies is to make ourselves look good. ” I returned your call”;
“I don’t know how the paint got chipped”; “Someone stole my gloves”; all these are small falsehoods in which we claim our performance was error-free —whatever slippage occurred wasn’t our fault. Human beings aren’t error-free. We forget things, mislay our gloves, back into telephone poles. We’re human.Pretending we’re not isolates us from the rest of humanity. Not only do we break the agreement at the base of language; we set ourselves apart from each other. We pretend we are more perfect than someone else; we condemn ourselves to loneliness. Let us admit our imperfections; they are part of our humanity.