If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction. —Emma Goldman…
Many people form primary relationships before they’ve had a chance to live alone, to be on their own, to test themselves out in the world. Sometimes, in fact, it’s
fear of testing themselves out in that drives them prematurely into a relationship. So a lot of early relationships dissolve. And if the people involved in them are motivated by fear, they are likely to form new relationships before they’ve given themselves a chance to heal or grow from the old ones.
In a healthy relationship, both partners give and take without restrictions. Love is a process, an unfolding intimacy between two adults. It’s no substitute for a mortgage or a band-Aid. It’s difficult to conduct this kind of relationship when we’re young and unsure. We need an enormous amount of trust to be nurturing and vulnerable. After we’ve knocked around in the world a bit, we’re more likely to have the strength to form a real love bond.
Today I’ll remember to promise only what I can give freely.