CHARACTER BUILDING
Demands made upon other people for too much attention,
protection, and love can only invite domination or
revulsion….
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44
When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step,
I didn’t think it should rank as a character defect. I
wanted to think of it more as an asset (that is, the desire
to please people). It was quickly pointed out to me that
this “need” can be very crippling. Today I still enjoy
getting the approval of others, but I am not willing to
pay the price I used to pay to get it. I will not bend
myself into a pretzel to get others to like me. If I get
your approval, that’s fine; but if I don’t, I will
survive without it. I am responsible for speaking what
I perceive to be the truth, not what I think others may
want to hear.
Similarly, my false pride always kept me overly
concerned about my reputation. Since being enlightened
in the A.A. program, my aim is to improve my character.