A WORD TO DROP: “BLAME”
To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We
could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves.
First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even
though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other
people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our
speech and thought.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47
When I did my Fourth Step, following the Big Book guidelines, I
noticed that my grudge list was filled with my prejudices and my
blaming others for my not being able to succeed and to live up to my
potential. I also discovered I felt different because I was black. As I
continued to work on the Step, I learned that I always had drunk to rid
myself of those feelings. It was only when I sobered up and worked on
my inventory, that I could no longer blame anyone.