Our Folded Hands

Women helping Women. Reaching out to the Sister who still suffers. Helping each other through the Good times and the Difficult times. To get to the SOBER way of life, One Day at a Time.

Walking through it…

I am so afraid of giving up complete control to my Higher Power. I want to Trust Him with my whole life! For when I look back on the wreck I made of my life when drinking and drugging, the choices I was making. I say to myself, ” How can I think of considering anything less than this? Am I crazy? I realize that I am human and I get in fear and it grips me hard and I get scared really really bad! I seemingly take it out on ever one around me, I get very irritable and discontent event to be around myself… I pray about it, I go to meetings, I talk to people in the program about it. I sit in dark corners holding myself screaming out to this Thing I call a Higher Power asking …BEGGING … HELP ME??? WHY ??? It HURTS SO BADDD??? I CRRYY, AND SOB AND SOB SOME MORE… I KEEP ASKING CAN YOU HEAR ME GOD , I NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW, I KNOW YOU SEE MY PAIN,,, I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE REAL, HELP ME TO TURN THESE HOLES OVER TO YOU, LET ME KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN CONTROL , I turn it all over to YOU… For I really have no control,,, just complete defeat and acceptance of… HI , I am an Alcoholic..